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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Report: Some Small Town Enjoying Last Days Of Anonymity Before Harrowing Tragedy

SOME SLEEPY LITTLE TOWN IN THE MIDWEST SOMEWHERE—Waking this morning without fresh memories of pain and suffering, national media attention, or ongoing services in memory of the victims, some no-name little American town is currently enjoying its last precious moments of anonymity before experiencing a devastating and unimaginable tragedy, sources confirmed today. “Hi, how are you guys?” a smiling local man reportedly remarked to a pair of neighbors as he walked to his job this morning, completely unaware that in a short matter of days, the tear-streaked faces of everyone he knows and works with will appear on television screens across the county in the aftermath of a senseless act of violence, most likely a shooting, or a kidnapping, or a home invasion, or an act of domestic terror, or something else too wrenching and awful to even describe. “That’s good. You guys have a good one, all right?” At press time, we should all just let them enjoy it, these last few moments of innocence and serenity, before it’s all gone, all of it, lost forever in a sea of evil and grief.

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