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Report: Someone Needs To Step Up

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Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-Expression

While declaring that the musical instrument was by no means ideally suited to the task, a report released by the National Endowment for the Arts Thursday concluded that the saxophone nevertheless remains a fairly decent vehicle for expressing one’s ...

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Report: Someone Needs To Step Up

WASHINGTON—According to a report released Friday by the National Association of Sports Commissions, somebody needs to step up and take control of this game. "It’s now or never,” the report read in part, adding if somebody doesn’t dig deep and find that extra gear, this thing is all but over. “Everybody’s standing around waiting for somebody else to step up and make big plays. There’s just no sense of urgency out there.” The report concluded that it all comes down to who wants it more.

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