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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Report: Standing At Work Can Increase Coworkers’ Disdain Up To 70%

GAINESVILLE, FL—According to a comprehensive 18-month study released Friday, researchers at the University of Florida have determined that standing for the duration of the workday can increase coworkers’ disdain by as much as 70 percent. “By simply switching from a traditional desk to a standing desk, we found that individuals experienced much longer and fuller looks of silent loathing from their colleagues,” said lead author Dr. Greg Darren, who confirmed that the more time subjects spent working on their feet, the greater the feelings of annoyance, scorn, and simmering contempt directed at them. “What’s most impressive is that the effects are apparent almost immediately—even just standing at one’s desk for a single afternoon resulted in a 25 percent increase in others’ feelings of derision. Over time, we found that this behavioral change can even lead to lifelong resentment in colleagues.” The study noted that in order to achieve the same level of disdain from standing at a desk, an individual would have to spend a full hour each day explaining his or her intensive workout regimen to colleagues.

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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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