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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Report: Stating Current Year Still Leading Argument For Social Reform

WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the Brookings Institution, the single most effective argument in favor of social reform continues to be indignantly saying aloud what the current year is. “When it comes to making a case for reordering the social order, we’ve failed to find any rhetorical strategy more effective or compelling than saying ‘It’s 2014!’ and asking why societal change hasn’t occurred,” said policy analyst Brad Katz, adding that the argument was even more powerful when immediately followed with the phrases “I mean, come on!” or “for crying out loud!” “Furthermore, we found that all social progress throughout our history—including abolition, women’s suffrage, and the entire gay rights movement—can be credited to stating the current year, claiming you don’t know what year defenders of the status quo are living in, and reminding them that if they happened to look at a calendar, they would notice that the year you stated is the current year.” However, the report noted that Americans have recently seen a sharp decline in the effectiveness of stating what country this is.

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