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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Report: Still 12,000 More Games Left In 2010 Baseball Season

NEW YORK—With the All-Star Game a distant memory and opening day almost 62,000 games ago, Major League Baseball teams still have 12,000 more games to play before the start of the 2010 playoffs. "It's certainly a very long season," said 32-year-old Chicago resident Doug Meyer, adding that he stopped paying attention to baseball after his Cubs lost their 18,000th game, which put them half a million games out of first place. "I was actually surprised to learn there were only 12,000 games left, because to me it feels like there are 20- or 40,000 more. In fact, sometimes it seems like the season will never end at all." Meyer later tried to remember if a team plays 90,162 games in a season or† 90,161.

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