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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Report: TCU Can Only Enter Big East If They Bring Girls

FORT WORTH, TX—Texas Christian University has been invited to join the Big East athletic conference, an opportunity that would grant them higher visibility and prestige, as long as they "bring some of those hot Texas girls along," Commissioner John Marinatto said Monday. "We are happy to welcome the Horned Frogs to the Big East, as they represent a fine sporting tradition, and also we could really use some new girls around here," Marinatto told the assembled reporters at a press conference. "Boston College had those cute little Catholic girls, but they left when the Eagles went to the ACC, and we could really use some nice Texas-cowgirl trim. Frankly, West Virginia doesn't give it up as much as you'd think, even though they'll do just about anything once you get them liquored up." TCU athletic director Chris Del Conte said he was happy to hook the Big East up, explaining that the conference's automatic BCS bowl bid was more than compensation for Syracuse girls being "totally flat."

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