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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Report: TV Teens 15 Times More Likely To Crack Wise Than Real Teens

NEW YORK–According to a report released Tuesday by the Center For Media Studies, TV teens out-wisecrack real-life teens by a 15-to-1 margin. Said researcher Dr. Andrea Brewer: "Our study found that, when told by a parent, 'You know, son, when I was a kid, I didn't have my own TV in my room,' actual teens were far less likely to respond, 'Yeah, that's 'cause they hadn't been invented yet!' than their fictional counterparts." Brewer noted that the handful of real-life teens who make such smart-alecky retorts have a mere 2 percent chance of being met with laughter and applause.

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