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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Report: Vulgaria May Possess Flying-Car Technology

WASHINGTON, DC—State Department officials are "deeply concerned" by a just-released report that Vulgarian despot Baron Bomburst has acquired Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the fantastical flying car created by zany, limber inventor Caractacus Potts. "Vulgaria is already a leader in the fields of child abduction and wife-beating," Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said. "If they can reverse-engineer the Potts device and discover the tactically crucial, splendiferous technology of airborne, turn-of-the-century Grand Prix racers, the global balance of power could potentially be altered forever."

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