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Report: You Know You Are A Fucking Idiot, Right?

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A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture

‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told reporters Friday they were starting to worry that new recruit Said Hassad was a huge psycho.
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Report: You Know You Are A Fucking Idiot, Right?

AMHERST, MA—According to a study published Friday by experts who can tell just by looking at you, you have got to be aware that you're a fucking idiot. "You know that, right?" the report read in part, going on to stress that you really ought to see what everyone else sees when they look at your stupid face. "There's really no way you couldn't know, but then again, you're such a giant dumbass that anything's possible." The report concluded that, seriously, if you don't realize it, you'd better get a fucking clue.

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