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Republicans, Democrats Unite In Good Laugh Over Reform Party

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Republicans, Democrats Unite In Good Laugh Over Reform Party

WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare moment of bipartisan unity, lawmakers on both sides of the aisle fondly recalled the Reform Party Tuesday. "Remember 'Ross For Boss'?" Sen. Bill Frist (R-TN) said, laughing uncontrollably at the memory of the closest thing America has seen to a viable third party in recent history. "Plus Trump, Warren Beatty... And what was the deal with that crazy admiral guy who died?" Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-MA) joined in the fun, saying, "And that platform they had full of, aw, who knows what. 'Reform,' I guess!" The senators then spent an hour slapping each other on the backs, gleefully recalling the Reform Party's credo of "radical centrism" and pro wrestler Jesse Ventura's election as governor of Minnesota. Said Robert Byrd (D-WV): "They really thought they had something going there for a while!"

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