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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Resigned Jason Bay: "Well, I'm A Met Now"

NEW YORK—At an introductory press conference at Citi Field Tuesday, Jason Bay donned a blue and orange hat, sighed deeply, and announced that he was, indeed, a New York Met. "Well, here we are," Bay seemed to say to himself while tightly gripping the lectern and slowly shaking his head. "I guess I'm a Met now. A New York Met. I was on the Red Sox for the past couple of years, they offered me $60 million to stay, but instead here I am with the Mets. Not exactly sure how that happened, but yeah, I'm thrilled to be here. Just thrilled." Bay became more animated when musing aloud about the possibility of a trade, but fell quiet once he realized that possibility wasn't very realistic.

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