adBlockCheck

Restaurant Gives Totally Unwanted Twist To Mexican Cuisine

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Restaurant Gives Totally Unwanted Twist To Mexican Cuisine

BERKELEY, CA—Claiming that the eatery was already generating a buzz among locals with its “East Meets Mex” flavors, owners of the Bento Burrito location on Shattuck Avenue explained to reporters Tuesday how their new restaurant offers a totally unwanted twist on Mexican cuisine. “You’ll find all your favorite Mexican dishes on our menu, but with completely unnecessary alterations that no one wants or has ever once asked for,” said Bento Burrito founder Alex Cochran, noting that as part of the restaurant’s efforts to make arbitrary, superfluous Japanese substitutions, patrons would have no choice but to eat their house-made tortilla chips with wasabi instead of salsa. “Enchiladas are a delicious traditional Mexican standard, so there’s no need to add pickled ginger to them, but that’s exactly what we did. Or if you’re looking for lighter fare, simply stop in and shake your head at our tacos that come topped with a wholly uncalled-for pile of bean sprouts.” Cochran encouraged residents to check out the restaurant’s menu online, guaranteeing that every customer would be 100 percent infuriated by item names ranging from Teriyaquitos to Sake-ritas.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close