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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Restaurant Patron Seeking Corroboration That Soda Is Not Diet

WAYLAND, NY—While eating lunch at the Back Porch Cafe Monday, a suspicious Diane Rollo, 43, sought confirmation from her lunch companions that the beverage in her glass was regular Coke and not diet. "Does this taste like diet to you?" asked Rollo, who ordered a Diet Coke, before handing the drink to Liz Lauderdorf. "This tastes like regular to me." After passing the drink to two other people at the table for sampling, Rollo said she was "70 percent sure" the soda was regular and sent it back.

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