Restaurant Turns Out To Be Spanish, Not Mexican

In This Section

Vol 37 Issue 39

Family Now Openly Wondering When Grandma Will Die

ATHENS, GA—After years of silent speculation, Trotter family members openly wondered Monday when ailing family matriarch Helen Trotter would die. "I'd say sometime in the next six months," Trotta's granddaughter Emily told her brother Zach after a visit to Valley View Nursing Home. "No way she'll hang on more than a year." Reports indicate that the Trotters hope the 88-year-old stays alive at least until after Christmas so it doesn't force a change of travel plans.

Parents Regret Letting Child Name Dog

MANKATO, MN—Bruce and Gail Kreuter expressed regret Monday over their decision to let their 8-year-old son Brian choose the name of the family's new cocker spaniel, Hitmontop. "He named the damn thing after his favorite Pokémon," Bruce said. "What's more, apparently, Hitmontop isn't even a dog Pokémon: It's some cartoon guy who kicks people." Gail said she should have seen this coming when Brian named his goldfish Garlic Junior.

School Principal Pauses For Applause That Never Comes

WILLIAMSPORT, PA—During a speech before Medford Middle School students Tuesday, principal Arthur Morehouse paused for applause that never came. "So let's all join together and show the kind of spirit that made Medford the most academically improved middle school in the entire Williamsport area!" said Morehouse, raising his hands. After three seconds of silence, Morehouse added, "Well, moving on," and proceeded to speak for 20 minutes on the importance of keeping the lunchroom clean.

Terrorism Storylines Being Added To TV Shows As Quickly As They Were Dropped

LOS ANGELES—Less than two months after frantically excising any allusions to terrorism, network executives are scrambling to add terror-related storylines to TV shows, sources reported Monday. "We're working around the clock to squeeze in a special episode where a Libyan with ties to Al Qaeda threatens to blow up the D.A.'s office," said Law & Order producer Dick Wolf, who on Sept. 15 scrapped an episode of the NBC drama in which a character utters the word "bomb." "We've got to stay on top of this thing." Next week, Spin City, which last month pulled an episode featuring a shot of the World Trade Center, will air a "very special" one-hour episode in which Mayor Winston is infected with anthrax.

Hang In There! You Live In The Richest Nation In The World!

Ever have "one of those days"? You know the kind: The boss is screaming, "I want it yesterday!," the kids have the flu, and your hair is sticking up on end like Don King's. Well, on those days, it's important to keep things in perspective. After all, you live in the richest, most powerful nation in the whole gosh-darn world!

This Marriage-Counseling Scam Is A Real Moneymaker

There's a sucker born every minute, and as a National Board For Certified Counselors-licensed marriage counselor, I know that better than anyone. For 22 years, I've bilked troubled couples out of their hard-earned cash by actually convincing them that their marital problems have a solution and that I can give it to them. Yep, this marriage-counseling scam is a real moneymaker!

Increasing NYC Tourism

New York has suffered a sharp decline in tourism since Sept. 11. What is the city doing to attract visitors?
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Late Night

Partying

Restaurant Turns Out To Be Spanish, Not Mexican

SCRANTON, PA—Bob and Debra Mangurten expressed confusion and frustration Monday, when the restaurant Don Quixote turned out to be Spanish, not Mexican.

The Spanish restaurant accidentally patronized by the taco-loving Mangurten (inset) and his wife.

"Where are the tacos?" Bob, a 33-year-old Scranton telephone repairman, asked waiter Pedro Cruz while scanning the menu. "What kind of Mexican place doesn't have tacos?" Cruz politely explained to him that tacos were not on the menu because tacos are not indigenous to Spanish cuisine.

"Turns out, the place was Spanish, which, apparently, is different," Debra later recalled. "How the heck were we supposed to know that?"

After ordering two Mountain Dews and requesting more time to look over the menu, the couple debated whether to stay or just pay for the drinks and find a Mexican restaurant.

"I had my heart set on tacos," Bob said. "But we were too hungry to get back in the car and drive all the way across town to Chi-Chi's, so we decided to stay put and make the best of things. Besides, Deb and I had agreed to try new things together, so I guess that counts."

Upon returning with the Mangurtens' soft drinks, Cruz suggested they start off with some tapas, which he described to the bewildered pair as "Spanish-style appetizers."

"Why don't they just have chips and salsa for the appetizer?" Bob asked. "Instead, they have stuff like prosciutto and melon, and steamed mussels. That sounds like something you wouldn't eat on a dare."

"I'm scared I'm going to order the wrong thing, and these prices don't exactly encourage experimentation," Debra said. "The way the restaurant looks on the outside, you'd never know it was the kind of place where you'd feel nervous ordering."

Mangurten, who "really wanted some tacos," eats herb-crusted sea bass with mashed yams.

After studying the menu for nearly 25 minutes, Bob ordered sea bass and Debra ordered Paella Valenciana, chosen because she recalled hearing the term paella on an episode of Seinfeld. Fifteen minutes later, her entree, a mixture of seafood, chicken, sausage, rice, saffron, and assorted vegetables and spices, was brought out and served tableside directly from a sizzling pan.

Reaction was lukewarm.

"It was fine, I suppose," Debra said. "It didn't hit the spot like some quesadillas would have, but we could have done worse."

"I guess it doesn't matter at this point," Debra continued. "They got our money either way."

Though the words "authentic Spanish cuisine" are printed on Don Quixote's door, Bob said the restaurant should make more of an effort to make its identity clear to patrons.

"When you walk into a place called Don Quixote and see all the crazy, colorful stuff on the wall, you figure it's a place to get normal Mexican food," he said. "Then, you open up the menu and you're like, what's with all this seafood? They should call it 'Don Quixote's Not-Mexican Restaurant,' so people will know exactly what they're getting. Or not getting."

Debra, who said she had been in the mood for a beef enchilada with molé sauce, agreed.

"I think it's just plain sneaky giving the place a Mexican name and making it look like a Mexican place. The least they could do is have a few things like chimichangas and burritos on the menu, for all the people who walk in here by accident. You shouldn't have to fool people to get them to eat at your restaurant. That's just bad business."

Ed Brulley, a longtime friend of the Mangurtens, said this is not the first time the pair has been duped by a restaurant.

"I took them to a great Szechuan place, and they were upset about it not having sweet-and-sour chicken or chow mein," Brulley said. "I told them that's Cantonese style, and that this was authentic Szechuan. They looked at me like I was from China. I don't think they realize different parts of a country have different styles of dishes. They certainly don't realize that countries that speak the same language don't always have the same food."

Added Brulley: "God help them if they ever accidentally stumble into a Cuban joint."

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More