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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Retiree Purchases Recliner He'll Eventually Die In

DADE CITY, FL– Retiree Chuck Leyner, 66, treated himself Monday to a La-Z-Boy Cardinal Reclina-Rocker chair, in which he will die of heart failure approximately eight years from now. "Oh, this is gonna be so great to watch football in," Leyner said of the attractive, comfortable death recliner, boasting five leg settings and a luxuriously padded back which will absorb the shock of his final death throes. "This thing is gonna last for the rest of my life."

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