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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Return Of NHL Season Reignites Exciting Sidney Crosby Vs. Cranial Fluid Buildup Rivalry

NEW YORK—With the NHL season set to finally begin after a prolonged labor dispute, sources confirmed Friday that the league’s return has reignited the intense and compelling rivalry between Sidney Crosby and the buildup of excess cranial fluid. “This is easily the most exciting rivalry in the sport, and fans are already on the edge of their seats waiting to see whether ‘Sid the Kid’ or the abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid comes out on top this year,” said ESPN hockey columnist Scott Burnside, adding that “there’s no love lost” between the 25-year-old Pittsburgh Penguins star and the acute intracranial pressure in his skull. “The profusion of brain fluids really had Crosby’s number two years ago, but Sid came roaring back at the end of last season to retake the upper hand. We’re all eagerly anticipating the third chapter of the rivalry when these two face off in their 48 regular season matchups. Plus, there’s a very good chance they’ll see each other in the playoffs as well.” Reports also confirmed that both serious and casual hockey fans alike are looking forward to seeing how the rivalry unfolds over the next 30 to 40 years.

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