Reverend Al Sharpton Takes Time Off From Holy Duties To Make TV Appearance

Top Headlines

Recent News

‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Healthy Eating

Reverend Al Sharpton Takes Time Off From Holy Duties To Make TV Appearance

NEW YORK—Taking a break from his busy schedule of pastoral duties, the Rev. Al Sharpton set aside time Monday evening to make an appearance on a cable news channel, sources have confirmed. “Given his professional obligations and personal devotion to spreading the Gospel, we were simply thrilled that the reverend was able to find time for us and come on our show,” television producer Sophie Josten said of the 59-year-old Baptist clergyman, who when not conducting a worship service, ministering to the sick, or teaching a seminar at a local divinity school reportedly prefers to spend his time sequestered in silent prayer. “After we showed him how to speak into his microphone properly and told him which camera to look into, he took to it like a pro, generously sharing his views on any topic that came up during the broadcast. He left in a hurry though, no doubt to spend his evening offering one-on-one spiritual counseling to members of his congregation, but we’re sure glad he was able to fit us in.” Sources close to the reverend confirmed that after quickly reprising his role as a guest host on WWE Raw, Sharpton’s next stop would be the hospice where he volunteers as a chaplain.

Next Story