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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Rex Grossman Happy To Take An Afternoon To Teach Robert Griffin III Everything He Knows

WASHINGTON—Veteran Redskins quarterback Rex Grossman, who during his nine years in the NFL has earned a 56-60 touchdown-to-interception ratio and lost a Super Bowl with the Chicago Bears, said Friday he was willing to spend an afternoon mentoring Washington's prize draft pick, Heisman trophy winner Robert Griffin III. "I want to take him under my wing after lunch someday soon and teach him the finer points of standing tall in the pocket out of sheer inability to make up your mind where to throw the ball," said Grossman, who added that sharing his understanding of the Redskins' offense with Griffin could add up to an hour to their master-student relationship. "And of course, most young QBs come into the league unaware of the right technique for just hurling the ball as far downfield as you can just to make it look like you're being heroic when you're actually really confused. I hope he doesn't have plans before 7:30." Griffin reportedly thanked Grossman for his thoughtfulness, but asked if they couldn't really cover most of it over the phone.

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