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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Rex Ryan: 'Mark Sanchez Was Absolutely Our Quarterback This Year'

FLORHAM PARK, NJ—Though some in the Jets organization have expressed doubts about Mark Sanchez's role as the team's starting quarterback, head coach Rex Ryan vociferously defended Sanchez Thursday, confirming the former first-round pick was "absolutely" the team’s starter during the 2011-2012 season. "I know it’s your guys' job to generate controversy, but I'm only going to say this once: Mark Sanchez was our quarterback this past season, and he will continue to be our quarterback this past season," said Ryan, who repeatedly called Sanchez "my guy last year." "I'm not going to stand here and listen to people ask if I am going to stick with Sanchez all last season, because I am. End of story." When asked if the Jets planned to acquire quarterback Peyton Manning in the offseason, Ryan said, "How many times do I have to tell you? Mark Sanchez is the heart and soul of the 2011-2012 Jets."

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