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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Rex Ryan On Jets Season: ‘Anything Short Of 6-10 Is A Failure’

NEW YORK—Jets head coach Rex Ryan told reporters at a press conference Thursday that anything short of a 6-10 record this season would be considered a flat-out failure. “I’ve never been afraid of setting lofty goals for this team, and we set the benchmark last year,” said Ryan, adding that anything less than third or fourth place in the NFC East would be a huge letdown for the team, front office, and fans. “I can see the potential for this team, so I’m not afraid to put it out there. This is a 6-10 team, and I expect us to play 6-10 football this year.” Ryan confirmed that he’s equally ambitious when it comes to setting the bar for himself, saying that a dismissal from the team anytime before week 12 would be an utter disappointment.

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