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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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'Richie Rich' Comics Introduces New, Even Gayer Character

NEW YORK—DC Comics executives announced Tuesday that their upcoming revival of the popular Harvey Comics title Richie Rich would introduce a new, even gayer character to the popular series. "With the addition of Richie's visiting cousin Mitchell Happy in the first three issues, readers can expect to meet the Richie Rich universe's gayest character yet," said spokesperson Thomas Young, adding that Mitchell would be even more overtly flamboyant than characters like Jackie Jokers, Uncle Worry, and the Riches' longtime butler, Cadbury. "If readers thought Richie's friends Freckles and Pee-Wee Friendly were as gay as this comic could get, they've got another thing coming." Young also teased the addition of Wendy the Witch's stunningly new butch friend Steph.

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