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Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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'Richie Rich' Comics Introduces New, Even Gayer Character

NEW YORK—DC Comics executives announced Tuesday that their upcoming revival of the popular Harvey Comics title Richie Rich would introduce a new, even gayer character to the popular series. "With the addition of Richie's visiting cousin Mitchell Happy in the first three issues, readers can expect to meet the Richie Rich universe's gayest character yet," said spokesperson Thomas Young, adding that Mitchell would be even more overtly flamboyant than characters like Jackie Jokers, Uncle Worry, and the Riches' longtime butler, Cadbury. "If readers thought Richie's friends Freckles and Pee-Wee Friendly were as gay as this comic could get, they've got another thing coming." Young also teased the addition of Wendy the Witch's stunningly new butch friend Steph.

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

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