Rick Perry Experiences Overwhelming Feeling Of Clarity And Contentment In Final Moments Before Death Of Campaign

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Vol 48 Issue 03

North Korea

"Approximately 30,000 children leapt through the air with shiny metallic streamers, while the coordinated undulations of T-shirted adults simulated a giant North Korean flag fluttering in the wind.

Jan. 23

Quilting for Teens: Please come back, Dana! You're the only person who ever came, and I miss you!

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ABC 10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST This week's episode follows up with our contestants from last week, whom we've checked in with once a week since the show began.

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BOSTON—After reading the final draft Saturday morning, local man Chris Peters, 27, was relieved to discover the short story written by his friend Mark Carter, 26, was absolutely terrible.
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Rick Perry Experiences Overwhelming Feeling Of Clarity And Contentment In Final Moments Before Death Of Campaign

COLUMBIA, SC—Texas governor Rick Perry experienced a profound moment of peace and serenity Thursday morning just before his campaign to be president of the United States slipped away into the darkness, meeting its death. "It's all so clear now—so breathtakingly, beautifully clear," said Perry, tears streaming down his face as his bid for the 2012 Republican nomination drew its final, gasping breaths. "All that time I spent accusing people who disagreed with me of treason, labeling more or less all Muslims as terrorists, and generally alienating the American public, I should have been reaching out—I should have been celebrating our differences, and learning from them. It's ironic, but now, with the end so very near, I finally know what it means to be a good candidate. Goodbye." Gov. Perry told reporters he plans to return to Austin, where he will lead a state-sponsored Christian prayer service, mandatory for all residents, on the steps of the Texas Capitol.

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