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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Rickey Henderson Says He'll Only Join Hall Of Fame If He Can Start

SCOTTSDALE, AZ—All-time stolen base leader Rickey Henderson told Baseball Hall of Fame officials Monday that he would only join Cooperstown's most prestigious club if he could start in left field and bat leadoff. "Man, Rickey's still got it, and it would be disrespectful to myself and my family if I entered a situation where I was playing backup to [former left fielders] Stan Musial or Ted Williams," Henderson said during the hour-long telephone negotiation, adding, "What are those guys, like, 50? Rickey does not ride the pine. Rickey plays. You think Lou Brock can run like me? Please. Goodbye." Henderson later told reporters that he would also be willing to enter the Hall of Fame in Japan, if necessary, and play his remaining years there.

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