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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Ricky Williams Most Lucid Dolphin On Field

MIAMI—Ricky Williams, the troubled running back whose career has been marred by repeated drug-test failures and whose recent return to the NFL was met with speculation regarding his past marijuana use and current state of mind, is in fact the most mentally stable member of the Miami squad at this time, according to sources close to the team. "Ricky is totally focused on running the ball at this time, unlike our doubt-addled quarterback, our delusional head coach, and our punch-drunk defense," said a member of the Dolphins coaching staff, who also stated that "they are all out to get [him]"and asked not to be named. "Ricky's actually the only guy on this team who seems really mellow, laid-back, and relaxed, and also still has any appetite at all." Williams declined to comment on his mental state, instead inviting reporters into his apartment to just hang out, eat cheese corn, and play Katamari Damacy on his PlayStation.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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