adBlockCheck

Entertainment

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
End Of Section
  • More News

Ridley Scott Trades Russell Crowe To Tim Burton For Johnny Depp

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Directors Ridley Scott and Tim Burton traded their favorite actors Wednesday, closing a deal in which Scott received Johnny Depp and Burton received Russell Crowe plus two guys from Black Hawk Down and a three-pack of watermelon Bubble Yum. "I'm going to cover his face in white powder and make him wear a purple fright wig and a Victorian frock coat with swirls all over it," said Burton, who unsuccessfully attempted to trade away an old Michael Keaton with whom he hardly ever plays anymore. "Russell Crowe's going to be the best misfit undertaker ever!" Scott, meanwhile, told reporters that he was just glad he got rid of a crappy action figure like Crowe and that he and Burton had definitely called no tradebacks.

More from this section

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close