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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Rising Star John Kerry's Stirring Speech Paves Way For 2016 Presidential Run

CHARLOTTE, NC—Rising Democratic star John Kerry took the stage at his party’s national convention Thursday night, delivering a rousing speech that many political insiders are saying may pave the way for the Massachusetts senator to make a formidable 2016 presidential run. “Sen. Kerry’s electrifying and thought-provoking address offered unique views on America’s place in the modern world and proves he is a force to be reckoned with in 2016,” said syndicated columnist and blogger Robert Eukel, who noted the up-and-coming politician showcased a unique ability to address both sides of the political divide, demonstrating his potential to become “the future of the Democratic party.” “His message really resonated with the audience and created the kind of energy and excitement the Democrats haven’t experienced in a long time. This guy has got it.” Political analysts are already comparing Kerry to former Florida governor Jeb Bush, whose invigorating speech at last week’s Republican National Convention has already been credited with helping to establish him as one of America’s most prominent conservative leaders.

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