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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Rival PGA Hooligans Clash During Final Round Of Masters

AUGUSTA, GA—Gathering in large groups and vociferously chanting expletive-filled songs in support of their favorite players, several groups of rival PGA hooligans violently clashed at the Augusta National Golf Club during the final round of the Masters Sunday, sources confirmed. “They’re here every tournament waving banners and inciting trouble all over the course, but this year’s fights were particularly bad,” Augusta chairman Billy Payne told reporters, noting that the roving bands of die-hard golf enthusiasts left a trail of mayhem that included throwing garbage cans through the Augusta pro shop windows, overturning several ball washers and setting them on fire, and leaving various unfilled divots throughout the course. “Early in the day on the fifth hole, a group of Stewart Cink supporters tangled with some of the McIlroy Boys in a nasty brawl that spilled out from the gallery onto the green. Then someone from the Furyk Crew chucked a lit flare at Vijay Singh’s caddy, and at that point we just had to suspend play and call in the paddy wagon.” According to officials, this year’s fights were the worst since a vicious melee at the 2009 Masters in which dozens of berserk, intoxicated hooligans swarmed and savagely beat a defenseless Phil Mickelson into a coma.

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