NEW YORK—Children's author R.L. Stine broke his long-held media silence Monday to announce that Slappy, the evil ventriloquist's dummy from the Goosebumps Night Of The Living Dummy trilogy, was a homosexual.
"This is not completely unexpected," said Goosebumps fan Ned Kosorowski, who has long speculated that the fictional wooden doll preferred the company of men, and has even written fan fiction describing graphic sexual encounters between Slappy and Amy's father. "Slappy's constant attempts to break out of the closet that Amy stores him in at night clearly represent his struggle with homosexuality—as well as his deep-seated, repressed feelings for [rival ventriloquist's dummy] Mr. Wood."
Stine refused to address rumors regarding the possibility that Greg from Say Cheese And Die—Again! suffers from bipolar disorder.