adBlockCheck

Entertainment

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
End Of Section
  • More News

R.L. Stine Reveals Slappy From Night Of The Living Dummy Was Gay

NEW YORK—Children's author R.L. Stine broke his long-held media silence Monday to announce that Slappy, the evil ventriloquist's dummy from the Goosebumps Night Of The Living Dummy trilogy, was a homosexual.

"This is not completely unexpected," said Goosebumps fan Ned Kosorowski, who has long speculated that the fictional wooden doll preferred the company of men, and has even written fan fiction describing graphic sexual encounters between Slappy and Amy's father. "Slappy's constant attempts to break out of the closet that Amy stores him in at night clearly represent his struggle with homosexuality—as well as his deep-seated, repressed feelings for [rival ventriloquist's dummy] Mr. Wood."

Stine refused to address rumors regarding the possibility that Greg from Say Cheese And Die—Again! suffers from bipolar disorder.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close