RNC Coverage: SOS

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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RNC Coverage: SOS

Was hit with "Pepper Spray" by Police! Burned my eyes out! Can't wait to leave this sewer of a town, the town of Republicans! Editors, if you are out there reading this, please change my flight—I need emergency evacuation! Have been pouring water on my face for hours. It burns!

Was nearly through the crowd and at the door to the McDonalds when I was suddenly showered with burning chemical agent. No one was there for me … I was abandoned by my Country, after all I had done for it in the name of Freedom.

I now know what it feels like for our wounded veterans to come home and be ignored and neglected. I didn't even make it past the golden arches for a 99 cents meal. All that value… lost.

How I wish there was a helicopter that could swoop down and airlift me off the roof of this Flea Bag Motel just like those lucky ones in Saigon in '75. I can't get out – CAN'T GET OUT!

Editors, LISTEN TO ME! GET ME OUT OF HERE!