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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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RNC Coverage: SOS

Was hit with "Pepper Spray" by Police! Burned my eyes out! Can't wait to leave this sewer of a town, the town of Republicans! Editors, if you are out there reading this, please change my flight—I need emergency evacuation! Have been pouring water on my face for hours. It burns!

Was nearly through the crowd and at the door to the McDonalds when I was suddenly showered with burning chemical agent. No one was there for me … I was abandoned by my Country, after all I had done for it in the name of Freedom.

I now know what it feels like for our wounded veterans to come home and be ignored and neglected. I didn't even make it past the golden arches for a 99 cents meal. All that value… lost.

How I wish there was a helicopter that could swoop down and airlift me off the roof of this Flea Bag Motel just like those lucky ones in Saigon in '75. I can't get out – CAN'T GET OUT!

Editors, LISTEN TO ME! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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