adBlockCheck

Politics

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
End Of Section
  • More News

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday. “Special Counsel—outta my way!” shouted Mueller, swerving around fuel trucks and screeching onto an active taxiway as the Boeing 747 revved its engines to full power and began accelerating for liftoff. “Stop! Stop the goddamn plane! I need to speak with the president!” At press time, Mueller had brought his SUV to a rapid, sliding halt at the end of the runway and could be seen yelling obscenities and pounding the hood of the automobile as the aircraft climbed into the sky and banked away to the northwest.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close