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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Robinson Cano Didn’t Realize Mariners Expected Him To Run Their Social Media Too

SEATTLE—Twenty-one games into the $240 million contract he signed with the team in December, Seattle Mariners’ second baseman Robinson Cano admitted to reporters Thursday that he did not initially realize the organization also expected him to manage their social media operation as well. “Pretty much since the day I got here they’ve had me running their Twitter account, which they’re really trying to get up to 200,000 followers,” said the five-time All-Star who now also oversees the team’s Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram profiles, adding that he spends most of his time in the dugout developing content for the Mariners’ brand-new Snapchat account. “It’s a ton of work ensuring that your scheduled posts are spaced out properly, and there’s always some cross-promotional thing I have to juggle, too. Plus, I’ve got to do all this while being in constant communication with the website, analytics, and marketing teams, which can be really annoying on road trips.” At press time, Cano was reportedly sitting out of batting practice in order to promote next Monday’s “Family Night” on the Mariners’ Google+ page.

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