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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Rock Song Takes Pro-Rock Stance

LOS ANGELES—A fist-pumping spokesperson for the rock and roll song "Rock You" declared the new track's unwavering pro-rock stance Monday amid a deluge of blistering guitar solos and monster drum fills. "In addition to its steadfast pledge to rock you into the night, 'Rock You' also intends to rock at least until the morning light, and does not care what any authority figures may say at this time," public relations associate Mark Boudreaux said. "Furthermore, rock and roll is here to stay." Boudreaux added that lame asses, poseurs, and mama's boys opposed to the song's militant pro-rock agenda could face a long, uphill battle if the song's prediction that rock will never die proves true.

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