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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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'Rock the Vote' Propels Metallica to Senate

WASHINGTON, DC—MTV’s Rock the Vote campaign has propelled the heavy metal group Metallica to a U.S. Senate seat. “Millions of kids rocked the vote,” MTV spokesperson Al Teaderman said. “They voted. And voted hard.” Metallica, whose new release Load is the number one album in the U.S., supports a balanced budget, welfare reform and maintaining strong relations with Pantera. “Pantera is a powerful ally,” Metallica spokesperson Lars Ulrich said of the rival metal superpower. “Together we can rock many critical legislative sessions.” The newly elected Metallica replaces retiring Senator Eugene Hatcher (R-OR).

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