Romeo Crennel Upset With Team's Offense And That Nestle Crunch Bars No Longer Come Wrapped In Foil

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Vol 44 Issue 49

Shitload Of Math Due Monday

OLD BRIDGE, NJ—Students dreaded spending all day Sunday with some retarded math book, especially one that doesn't have any of the freaking answers in the back.
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Romeo Crennel Upset With Team's Offense And That Nestle Crunch Bars No Longer Come Wrapped In Foil

CLEVELAND—At his usual press conference Monday, Browns coach Romeo Crennel expressed disappointment in his offense's poor effort and inability to capitalize on a strong defensive game against the Colts as well as Nestle's decision to no longer package its signature Nestle Crunch bar in aluminum foil. "I have two priorities this week: getting Ken [Dorsey] comfortable and in control on the field, and finding a candy bar that doesn't create a distracting mess in your pocket because of its inferior wrapping," said Crennel, adding that the Crunch bar's foil used to make him feel as if he were eating the chocolate bar from Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory. "Dorsey's an outstanding player and we have to support him with quality play. And the Crunch is an outstanding and delicious treat, but it isn't supported by that cheap plastic wrapper. Krackels are good—I gave them out for Halloween this year—but I like Nestle chocolate better." Krennel explained it also is important for backup quarterback Brady Quinn to ice up his broken finger because he "likes it when the candy bars are cold."

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