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Politics

CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...
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Romney Celebrates Florida Win With All-Night Miami Beach Rave

MIAMI BEACH, FL—Sparing no expense to celebrate his 14-point win over Newt Gingrich in last night's Florida primary, Mitt Romney hosted a lavish all-night rave at Miami's Club Amnesia Tuesday, packing the popular hot spot with a crowd of more than 2,000 enthusiastic supporters who danced and drank complimentary Cîroc vodka until dawn. "Boy, the Romney campaign really knows how to throw an insane party," said 26-year-old South Beach resident Anthony de Silva, recalling how crazy the crowd went when Romney's old friend Tiësto showed up to spin an impromptu neo-trance set. "At one point—I think it was around four in the morning—I saw Romney himself with a pacifier in his mouth, waving around a pair of glow sticks and shuffling like he was possessed by some kind of demon. I really hope he wins the nomination in August." As of press time Wednesday morning, sources reported seeing the disoriented former Massachusetts governor climbing down from the roof of a lifeguard tower, dressed in only his all-access VIP badge.

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