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Romney Comes Clean, Admits He Made $32 Trillion In 2006

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Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.
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Romney Comes Clean, Admits He Made $32 Trillion In 2006

BOSTON—In an effort to make a full disclosure of his professional and financial records following discrepancies over his stewardship of Bain Capital, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney admitted Monday that in 2006 he personally made $32 trillion. "It has never been my intention to mislead anybody about my financial history, and so I think it's important for me to reveal that I made roughly $30 trillion dollars in 2006, with various contractual bonuses pushing that total closer to $32 trillion," Romney told an assembled press corps, adding that his 14-figure net income was accurately represented on his 2006 tax return. "I also made $28 trillion dollars in 2007. And another $32 trillion in 2008. The fact is, I am a trillionaire many, many times over, and I don't want anyone to think I haven't been completely honest and transparent about that." The former Massachusetts governor also took the opportunity to reveal that he is currently serving on the directorial boards of 483 Fortune 500 companies.

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