Romney Delivers Stern Warning To China, Speaking Directly Into The Camera In Fluent Mandarin

Top Headlines


Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions

Intergalactic Law Enforcement Officers Place Energy Shackles On Hillary Clinton

PARADISE, NV—Materializing through a dimensional portal in front of a stunned audience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, intergalactic law enforcement officers reportedly appeared onstage during Wednesday night’s presidential debate and placed a pair of glowing blue energy shackles on Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.

Trump Complains Entire Personality Rigged Against Him

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Responding to his flagging poll numbers and a string of newspaper editorials and cable news pundits questioning his fitness to lead, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly complained to a rally crowd Thursday that for the entirety of this race, his personality has been rigged against him.

Fact-Checking The Second Presidential Debate

Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump discussed topics including national security, taxes, and their ongoing personal scandals in a contentious town hall presidential debate Sunday. The Onion evaluates the truthfulness of their claims

Trump Vomits Immediately After Seeing Everyday Americans Up Close

ST. LOUIS—His face turning deathly pale and beads of cold sweat forming on his brow as he took his seat for the town hall forum at Washington University, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly vomited directly onto the debate stage Sunday night upon viewing everyday Americans up close.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Romney Delivers Stern Warning To China, Speaking Directly Into The Camera In Fluent Mandarin

BOCA RATON, FL—After asserting during Monday’s foreign policy debate that Americans needed a president who would “finally stand up to China,” Republican nominee Mitt Romney responded to a question on international trade by looking intently into the television camera and addressing Beijing’s leaders in their native language. “As president, I will crack down on China, and I’d like to make one thing clear to President Hu [Jintao] right now,” the candidate said before locking his gaze on the camera and issuing a stern set of remarks in perfectly accented Mandarin. 中国的领导  我毫不含糊地向你们肯定  当我做了总统  我 定会确保中国遵守国际贸易规则  你们国家长久以来用操纵汇率让你们自己的制造业受益  打击我们美国的制造业  这是不公平的  我的政府不会接受中国这样的行为  当我进白宫的第 天  我就会把中国列入 率操纵国 这是对你们的警告 Jabbing a finger at the camera as he concluded his statement, Romney held his firm, unbroken glare for several seconds before tersely ordering debate moderator Bob Schieffer to move on to the next question.


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close