adBlockCheck

Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
End Of Section
  • More News

Romney Spends Day Tearfully Apologizing At Father's Grave

BRIGHTON, MI—Visitors to Brighton’s Fairview Cemetery confirmed that since early this morning, former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has been kneeling at his father’s gravestone and tearfully apologizing to the late politician for his loss to Barack Obama in Tuesday’s election. “All I ever wanted to do was please you, and I failed. I am so, so sorry,” Romney reportedly said as he ran his fingers along the marbled engraving of his father’s name, quietly sobbing while wiping away dirt from his tear-streaked face. “I tried as hard as I could. Honestly, Dad, I did. Can you ever forgive me?” Sources reported that a disconsolate Romney finally left the plot after a deep, guttural voice emanated from the ground and said, “You’ve disappointed me, Mitt. Go away. Forever.”

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close