adBlockCheck

Romney Volunteers Going Door-To-Door To Let Obama Supporters Know President's Dead

Top Headlines

Politics

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Romney Volunteers Going Door-To-Door To Let Obama Supporters Know President's Dead

COLUMBUS, OH—In a last-ditch effort to win a few more votes in the key swing state of Ohio, Mitt Romney campaign volunteers made door-to-door visits to homes of registered Democrats on Monday to personally let them know that the president had died. “This is very difficult to say, but yeah, Barack Obama actually died early this morning, so he’s not running for president anymore,” Romney supporter Marcia Higgins reportedly told a family of four, calling the president’s sudden death “extremely tragic,” but adding that it’s important for voters to keep the fact that he died in mind when they go to the polls tomorrow. “You didn’t hear? Oh, yeah, it was totally sudden. Heart attack or something. Crazy. But anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Barack Obama, the man you were planning on voting for, has passed away, and Mitt Romney is still alive, so…” When asked how Obama could be dead when he was currently on television giving a stump speech in Wisconsin, Higgins said the footage “must be from yesterday or something, because the president is definitely dead now.”

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close