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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Romney Volunteers Going Door-To-Door To Let Obama Supporters Know President's Dead

COLUMBUS, OH—In a last-ditch effort to win a few more votes in the key swing state of Ohio, Mitt Romney campaign volunteers made door-to-door visits to homes of registered Democrats on Monday to personally let them know that the president had died. “This is very difficult to say, but yeah, Barack Obama actually died early this morning, so he’s not running for president anymore,” Romney supporter Marcia Higgins reportedly told a family of four, calling the president’s sudden death “extremely tragic,” but adding that it’s important for voters to keep the fact that he died in mind when they go to the polls tomorrow. “You didn’t hear? Oh, yeah, it was totally sudden. Heart attack or something. Crazy. But anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Barack Obama, the man you were planning on voting for, has passed away, and Mitt Romney is still alive, so…” When asked how Obama could be dead when he was currently on television giving a stump speech in Wisconsin, Higgins said the footage “must be from yesterday or something, because the president is definitely dead now.”

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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