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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Ron Artest Issues Vague Threat Of 'Return To Form' In Game 3

SAN ANTONIO—Shortly after the NBA announced that Ron Artest would be suspended for Game 2 for elbowing Manu Ginobili in the head during the third quarter of the Spurs-Kings series opener, the Kings forward issued a barely concealed threat in which he promised that he would return for Game 3 "in classic form" and that "the gloves are off for this one." "Everybody better watch out, because I'm more motivated than ever to get out there and do some real damage on the court," Artest said in a statement directed either at members of the Spurs, or members of the Spurs, Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, NBA referees, members of the Kings, and the approximately 17,317 fans scheduled to be in attendance at ARCO Arena Friday night. "The only way to truly even this series is to get back to basics, play Ron Artest basketball, and use the same techniques that got me to where I am today." Asked to clarify his remarks, Artest would only say that he planned to "really outdo himself this time" and that Friday's matchup would be "a heavyweight fight to the finish, and if I can get Big Bear and Crusher to the arena, possibly even a dogfight."

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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