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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Ron Artest Tells Reporters He Lives For The NBA Playoffs, Coconut Shrimp

LOS ANGELES—With his team down 3-2 to the Lakers in the Western Conference Semifinals, Rockets forward Ron Artest explained in a postgame interview Tuesday that he lives for the pressure and excitement of the NBA Playoffs as well as a plateful of sweet, crunchy coconut shrimp. "That's why I'm here. This is what it's all about," Artest said while dunking one of several jumbo-sized postgame coconut shrimp into a cup of piña colada dipping sauce. "I love the NBA. I really love it. Just as I love coconut shrimp." Basketball commentators have responded to Artest's claims by saying they are "really in the mood for coconut shrimp."

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