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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Rookie Geno Smith Has Already Mastered Jets Offense

NEW YORK—After Jets quarterback Geno Smith finished last week’s game against the Giants with a 45.7 passer rating, head coach Rex Ryan told reporters Thursday that the team is very encouraged by the rookie’s mastery of their offensive system. “All camp we’ve watched to see if Geno understands what we’re trying to do here, and by completing barely half of his passes and throwing three interceptions against the Giants, he proved to everyone that he does,” said Ryan, adding that Smith demonstrated a firm grasp of key schematic elements such as staring down reads, throwing balls behind receivers, and rarely leading a drive of more than 20 yards. “When Geno carelessly scrambled out of the back of our end zone for a safety, I knew he was ready to lead the Jets in the regular season. He gets it.” Ryan confirmed that Smith’s greatest areas for improvement are boosting his relatively low sack and fumble totals.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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