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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Roommate All Into Cycling Now

IOWA CITY, IA—According to area resident Jonathan Radzinski, after two months of being completely into fencing, roommate Jeff Specht is suddenly all into cycling. "For the longest time it was fencing and now, like, from out of nowhere, there's all this cycling shit all over the apartment," Radzinski said. "There's two bikes in the front hallway, and he's got some kind of timer thing that he always leaves on the table. And I keep finding these little lycra racing outfits draped across the radiator." Radzinski said he is jolted awake at 4:30 a.m. five times a week by the sound of Specht's alarm clock, which wakes the temporary cycling enthusiast for his morning ride. Specht's previous all-consuming interests include kayaking, black-and-white photography and home brewing.

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