ARIES: You will experience unbounded happiness and success in every area of your life this week, unless of course there is something fundamentally and irreversibly wrong with you.
LANGLEY, WA—According to Brent Gryniuk, roommate Kirk has not stopped talking about his Academy Award for Achievement in Sound Mixing for the past month. "Every time someone comes over to hang out, he always has to go get the Oscar and show it to them and talk about all this stupid sound stuff, and it's like, 'Hey, we're trying to watch TV here,'" said Gryniuk, who suggested that perhaps Kirk should spend less time talking about his Oscar and more time paying Gryniuk the $60 he still owes him for the past two electricity bills. "I just got a promotion at Circuit City, but you don't see me bragging nonstop." Gryniuk said that he has tried to avoid speaking with his roommate altogether, but that it is difficult since he has to walk through Kirk's bedroom to get to his.