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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Rosa Parks Not Really Honored By New Bus Depot

DETROIT (Nov. 4)—The Detroit Department of Transportation announced Monday that it attempted to honor the memory of civil-rights pioneer and hometown hero Rosa Parks by naming a new downtown bus depot after her. "We believe that the Rosa Parks Transit Center is a fitting tribute to a woman who came to epitomize courage and principle," Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick said at the depot’s groundbreaking. "Although, come to think of it, no one wants to have their name associated with a grimy bus depot, much less spend five minutes there." A contrite City Council is expected to propose a simple statue in the downtown area after more careful consideration.
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