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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Row Of Asterisks Spices Up Otherwise Ordinary E-Mail

HOUSTON—Seven minds were blown Monday when employees of Houston Seed and Supply opened an e-mail containing a row of asterisks, a groundbreaking textual embellishment that recipients said caught them off guard but utterly captured their imaginations. "At first it seemed like any other e-mail, but nothing could prepare me for what I was about to encounter," said sales representative Stanley Tersh, explaining how the row of asterisks had "made [his] week." "Scrolling down, it took me a second to even process it. I mean, there had to be at least twenty of them." Tersh said the asterisks, which he described as looking like multiple diamonds exploding in unison, overshadowed the content of the e-mail, which may or may not have been about there being birthday cake in the conference room.

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