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Roy Halladay Gives Press Conference To Empty Room

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Roy Halladay Gives Press Conference To Empty Room

TORONTO—Immediately after pitching a complete game shutout for his league-leading 10th win Sunday, Blue Jays ace Roy "Doc" Halladay retired to the Rogers Centre press room to take questions from the complete lack of reporters in attendance. "I feel pretty good right now, and I want to keep that going," said Halladay, directing his comments toward a stack of folding chairs that had not even been set out. "Doc, do you feel that your amazing start has been flying completely under the radar?" asked Halladay in a deep voice somewhat resembling that of Toronto Star columnist Richard Griffin, before responding that he expected no accolades for his 43 career complete games, 141 career wins, 1,375 career strikeouts, 2003 Cy Young award, or incredible durability. Halladay, upon asking and therefore receiving no further questions, stood up, looked around the room for a long moment, and slowly walked back to the clubhouse.

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