Royal Baby Spits Up On Great-Grandmother

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Vol 49 Issue 32

Carl Tresvant

Since he didn’t know anything about the topic being discussed, Carl Tresvant kept his goddamn trap shut.

Obama Taking 8-Day Martha’s Vineyard Vacation

The Obama family will leave Saturday for an 8-day vacation on the quiet, affluent island of Martha’s Vineyard, where they have visited three of the past four summers, and are expected to spend the week golfing, shopping, and relaxing.

Doctors Finally Clear Peyton Manning To Play Football

DENVER—Two years after performing his 2011 spinal fusion surgery, doctors announced this week that Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has been officially cleared to return to the field and take part in football activities.
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Royal Baby Spits Up On Great-Grandmother

LONDON—Members of the Royal Family confirmed today that, following his morning feeding, the crown’s newborn heir spit up on his great-grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II. “Elizabeth took the little hiccup lovingly in stride,” said an anonymous palace aide, adding that she had a “marvelous sense of humor about the episode.” “The Queen is devoted to her great-grandson and understands that babies will be babies. She wouldn’t dream of missing these early moments with him.” The aide added that the Queen’s outfit was mildly stained.

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