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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Royals’ Agent Books Team For High-Profile Gig In New York City

KANSAS CITY—Calling it their chance to finally hit the big time, booking agent Freddie Holt announced this morning that he had landed the Kansas City Royals a major gig in New York City this August. “This is it, fellas: the big leagues!” said Holt, who promised that instead of the “crappy” Midwest venues they’ve been doing for months, the team would be “playing in front of thousands of screaming fans in The Big Apple.” “Everyone’s gonna be watching you. There’ll be big lights, TV cameras—maybe even a reporter for The New York Times! So, don’t blow it, or you’ll be back here in Kauffman Stadium before you know it.” Players were reportedly disappointed to learn the gig was actually in Queens and not Manhattan, but agreed that playing on the East Coast at all was “still a huge deal.”

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