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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Royals GM Didn't Know He Was Allowed To Make Moves During Offseason

KANSAS CITY, MO—During a Monday conference call with the media, Royals GM Dayton Moore confessed he had "no idea" he was permitted to make player transactions between baseball seasons. "I guess that makes sense. I was always a little surprised when teams came back the next spring with different players," said Moore, adding that he just assumed most teams made the last of their personnel decisions during Game 7 of the World Series. "I've already contacted the agents for Hideki Matsui and John Lackey to try and convince them to play here for free, and I'm working on a trade for Jason Varitek. He's got something to prove." Moore said the revelation that he would be working through the winter gave him all the more reason to look forward to his annual October vacation.

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